Eight steps to creating the wedding of the century……
Create an experience your friends and family will never forget.
I’m writing my latest blog whilst sat on the plane with my new husband on our way to our honeymoon.
It was always my intention to create an experience for our friends and family, one that they and us would never forget. It’s so important to me that our families are in our lives and that they know one another. Our wedding was the first time they would be meeting so I wanted to make it a good one.
Getting married at 40 totally has its advantages; older and wiser and all that. So many people over the years have said that weddings are so expensive, it’s only a day so you blink and you miss it. It’s almost as if you say the word “wedding” and the price triples!With that in mind I knew I wanted to really soak in the fact that I was marrying Matt and create an impactful wedding for our friends and family, a luxury weekend with a mindful budget.
My own experience of weddings has shown me that you tend to just start to relax and get to know people at the end of the evening; British people being quite reserved tend to take a while to warm up. I decided that I wanted our wedding to be over a weekend and I planned a few social events prior to the wedding for people to meet and to know each other.
One of the hardest decisions we had to make was to keep the wedding small and to invite predominately family, a small number of people that are in our lives currently and only people who we both knew. This was HARD. You want to invite soooo many people. It also meant we didn’t invite old family and friends. Ultimately, you should choose what is right for the two of you.
1.The dateI consulted an astrologer about dates initially, the date you get married has a huge impact on what your relationship will be like in the coming future.She suggested a Monday, most people would not even entertain a Monday but when you understand the benefits; it was a no brainier! The 25th at midday meant we would have a long and happy marriage, that we would have an expansive relationship where we will support one another’s growth, have abundance in our lives and great sex! Important stuff.
2. The set upWith our families never having met and wanting to create the best atmosphere ever, I knew more than a day was needed. Barriers breakdown when people are on site and spend a period of time together. Also, a lot of our family were travelling from long distances. We had people flying in from Venice, Iceland, Norway, travelling from the Yorkshire Dales and Cornwall. I wanted them to make the wedding a break as well as a wedding. I set the intention for a weekend wedding lasting from Thursday to Sunday.
3. The venueWhen researching venues I was shocked to find that you can spend thousands on just a venue for a day! The average price was around 6-7k (without food and drink) As soon as you say wedding the price goes up. This got me researching unusual venues. Ones that weren’t specially designed for weddings.
When you’re planning, think outside the box. Look for venues that aren’t wedding specific.The farm we used specialised in holiday lets and corporates for the weekend. Having held another event there, I knew it could work. I loved this venue, we could invite all our friends and family to stay for the weekend.We ended up spending the same price that we’d paid for one day but we got a whole weekend and accommodation for 28 people at Fair Oak Farm.
4. Do a walk aroundOnce you have an idea on your venue go stay there or do a walk around.This way you can walk through what you want to happen and spot what needs to happen. Think about flow and how your guests will feel and what their experience will be.Look at space and the number of people you have in the space. If you have a small number of people in a larger space they will feel lost.
5. Create a super teamPeople love weddings. Close family and friends will want to be involved. Look at the skill set of your close family and ask them for their help. If it’s something they love doing they’ll be thrilled and feel included therefore enjoy it even more.I’ve a very talented family, my sister is a fantastic interior / graphic designer and my mum a creative and budding baker.
Over the weekend the family helped lay out the decorations, friends mucked in and moved chairs and everyone really embraced the communal nature feeling useful and included.My mistress of ceremony, a close friend is a great speaker and my wedding planner was my ops director, she is a master implementor.
6. The DressDo your research, look at your shape, work out your style. Shop around. I got a dress for 50% off in the sale and a wrap on special offer. In the end, my high street wedding dress was my favourite, Phase eight do a great line.
7. The BudgetCreate a spreadsheet and allocate expected costs, this way you can see what you think your wedding will cost and see what is left to pay. Our wedding cost £16k, a weekend away for 28 people and a wedding. I’m happy with that.
8. Be differentWe had dove release ceremony on the Friday at the BBQ which was so different, people loved it. We also had a singer do an acoustic set. I opted for a singer we really liked, who didn’t necessarily just do weddings.We got married on the Monday in a registry office and just had very close family with us. We went for a nice meal with our family afterwards and had a very chilled out day.Thursday the fun began with us arriving at the farm to do the set up. This will always take longer than you think so allow time for it.We went out for a meal Thursday night, just to the local pub which was a great way for people to chat informally.
Friday morning was free time. The boys played golf and people went for walks and just had time to themselves. Every day we held breakfast in the farm house at the same time, which again helped people get to know one another.Friday afternoon was a BBQ and Friday night a relaxed evening with a fire, soul and great conversation.
Then came the big day. After breakfast, I disappeared to get ready and our guests mingled and got ready in their chosen wedding day finest.We had a celebrant do our wedding, she created a personalised service which we both loved. The ceremony was very personal and intimate.
The weekend was a great success lots of people told me it was the best wedding they’d ever been too. Most of all both Matt and I really enjoyed it, and it has really sunk in. A perfect way to start our wedding journey together.
Wedding details:Venue -Fair Oak Farm in Mayfieldhttp://www.fairoakfarm.co.uk/CelebrantClaire Bradfordhttp://creatingceremony.com/Dove Releasehttps://www.sussexdoverelease.co.uk/author/vivlambert/SingerIman Osmanhttp://www.prsformusicfoundation.com/grantees/open-fund-iman-osman/Hair and MakeupClare and Jorge Bridal Hair and Makeuphttps://www.facebook.com/clareandjorgebridalhairandmakeup/
