“You do not see the world as it is, you see it as you are’ Anais Nin
For a long time now I’ve wanted to write a book. Even with this desire to write and publish a book, my mental chatter around it is terrible.
At home I find it hard to concentrate; there is always something to do, some chore or task that wins. I have felt like I have a book that needs to come out of me for the last year or so, and I know that if it doesn’t come out soon, it will miss it’s window.
My husband Matt, an avid meditator, goes on a silent retreat every six month. When he is away, it is always hard being at home without him. It’s so good for our relationship, absence really does make the heart grow fonder but at the same time no phone contact at all for a week; it’s a bit surreal really, like he doesn’t exist for that week and that our relationship was a dream.
Rather than sit at home this time, I thought I would go with him and make use of the time. His retreat is in beautiful Wales. I have always wanted to see where he does it so decided to use the time wisely and find an air b and b nearby and write my book.
Last week, I dropped him off at Buckland Hall and I drove myself and my dogs another 30 mins to Abergavenny, to a farmhouse in the middle of no-where.
When I arrived, I was just unpacking the car when a woman in a range rover pulls up. She turns her car around and sits in the drive. I waved at her, thinking it must be the owner and she promptly ignored me. I waved again still no response. Then a man turned up in a car and pulled up next to me. He jumped out and I introduced myself! “Hi, I am Kitty.” he was very polite if a bit flustered and I started to ask him questions.
He excused himself gently and said he would be back in a sec. He disappeared off to the woman in the Range Rover; received three children and walked back up the drive.
Turns out he rents the cottage next door and his name is Matt (same as my husband) I introduced myself as Kitty formerly Kate and we both have a chuckle. The lady in the car is his ex-wife, her name is Kate.
No wonder she did not wave at me, I thought. How strange to travel all this way and there is a guy called Matt living opposite me. I have learnt where there is synchronicity, lies signs. I took it as a great sign that Matt and I were supposed to meet and that there was some type of conversation that needed to happen. What a cool synchronicity!
Day one of book writing and my resistance showed up big time!
I sat down to write, not really knowing where to start and feeling really rather overwhelmed. Off I went, I just followed my instincts. This is not what I thought I would be doing but it was flowing.
Two hours in my quiet farm house and it descended into noise. One of the nicest days of the year so far, which also meant it was perfect for lawn mowing. Crap, that is distracting! I consciously accepted the noise and anything else my energy was getting stuck on and found that I let the distraction go.
Shortly afterwards my conservatory was covered in bloody flies…. So annoying.
I decided a break was necessary and hit green hills; walking is so good for me it helps me connect. When I came back I found the flies gone and noise stopped. I laughed as it really felt that my resistance was showing up in my reality on the outside.
Everything is inside out.
‘External conditions mirror internal conditions’ so tidying your room settles internal disorder’ Charlene Belitz
What you think and believe about the world, you look for evidence to support your beliefs.
‘Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations’ Earl Nightingale
That night my new neighbour announced he too was going to cut his lawn; I just laughed inside. Having let my resistance go, it no longer triggered me.
You shape your life experience through your beliefs, reality is a mirror reflecting your inner world.
The more we have in our mind, the more complicated things seem. Matt, my husband loves this about mediation. He is so in the now and not in his head. I experience the same with my TM, its calms my monkey mind so the now is the dominant place.
I have really watched my disempowering thoughts this week.
‘You’re no good at writing’
‘You’re not cut out for this’
‘Why would anyone want to read what you write’
I have had these pop up at least three or four times a day. I have chosen to observe and persevere. Don’t let the stories win!
Author Neale Donald Walsh reminds us “Life proceeds out of your intention for it” – this is the fuel that drives the engine of creation in your life.
This is why I created my do your dharma tribe. What you think, you become, and within our dharma class I show you how to stay in flow with universal life force. It so much easier to do when you have support and are connected to a tribe. We choose to believe the universe has our backs and look for evidence to support this. When you tune into who you are and work in alignment with your gifts, you are in alignment with yourself and therefore the planet flows, and the dharma tribe keeps you on track.
Join the 4 Day Follow Your Highest Excitement Challenge for the it’s third time.
Starting 9th September 2019.